Q. When I go to play spades, all the room names are wrong? Why did you rename the rooms?
A. Hehe. I didn't. You probably wanted to go to the Yahoo! Spades room, but you clicked on the Pogo spades room instead. Go back to the start and click on the link that says Yahoo!.

Q. When I try to connect to Pogo games, it says "The following error has occurred: Could not connect to servers"
A. Pogo games are easier than Yahoo games (since you only have one ID) but you have to actually have an account on the affiliated site to play the game.

Q. I can't get in through your back doors, but I used to be able to. Is Yahoo! down?
A. Probably. Try it yourself by going to the host's main page and trying to get in the front door.

Q. Can you add back doors for another game?
A. Maybe. Send me an e-mail (see below).

Q. Hey! Not all the rooms are on here. Why not?
Q. When I click on a room, it takes me to the wrong room. How come?
A. Yahoo! or Pogo probably just added them or renamed them. I haven't gotten around to fixing it. Send me an e-mail with the name of the room and the game it belongs to. (Oh, and I don't usually list the one-player-no-chat games. I might add those later, though.)

Q. Someone last night told me he made this site. Was that you?
A. Maybe. Was he charming and handsome? Was his name "phord"? If so, that was me. If not, it was just some lying jerk.

Q. What games do you play?
A. Spades, Euchre, Wordox, Word Search, Backgammon, Hearts. Mostly Spades and Word games. Not very often, either.

Q. What's the secret code to boot someone out of a game?
A. I don't know. If you do, send it to me. I won't tell a soul.

Q. How can I boost my rating?
A. Win a lot. Never lose.

Q. No, seriously. I saw someone with a 10,000 point rating and she hadn't lost the last 250 games. That's not possible!
A. Well, it is possible. But maybe she found a way to cheat. I don't know how she did it. I don't care.

Q. Dude! Your site rocks! I want to tell my friends! What's the address?
A. ROFL. :-) LMAO. Whew! Ahem. Oh, really? Uh. Tell them to go to Shove-it.com. Don't forget the hyphen. Then tell them it's not a joke. It's the real name of the site. And there's no pr0n there. Seriously.

Q. How do I bookmark your page?
A.

Q. Can I copy your page to my computer?
A. Maybe, but you won't get updates when Yahoo! or Pogo add games or change room names. It's best just to come to Shove-it.com when you need us.

Q. You are so kewl! Can we date?
A. Ha ha. No, my wife wouldn't like that.

Q. Well can you teach me some HTML tricks?
A. Sure! My hourly rate is $185. Just send me some questions to indicate your acceptance.

Q. How long did it take you to build this site?
A. Too long. All the automation scripts and text prolly took about 100 hours over 18 months (so far). Most of that was spent gathering all the information from the games sites and keeping it current.

Q. Are the ads making you rich?
A. My genius makes me rich. The ads just pay for the internet service to host this wildly popular site.

Q. What do you do In Real Life? (IRL)
A. I'm a software engineer. I'm damn good, too.

Q. Dude -- this is so cool I want to send you some money.
A. No, thanks. Really. It's ok. I did it all for my fans...

Q. I sent you an e-mail and you never replied. How come? Are you a jerk?
A. Ah, no. You probably asked me how to cheat, forgot to type any text in your message, or asked one of the many questions answered (or not) on this page. Or maybe I'm out of town or in bed or something. Maybe I'm swamped with real work. Maybe I lost your message in the hundreds I get every day. Maybe I died. Probably that first thing, though, where you asked a dumb question. (Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people. Ha! Just kidding. :-)

Q. Oh, do you get a lot of dumb email?
A. Well, "dumb" depends on your point of view. The most common emails I receive from people clicking my email address are these:

1. A completely blank message with no subject or sometimes "backdoors" for the subject.
2. "please email me about the back doors"

Q. ONLY A COMPLETE *expletive* IDIOT WOULD WASTE THERE TIME COPYING CONTENT FROM ONE SITE AND PUTTING IT ON THERE OWN AND SIT AND BOAST ABOUT IT AS IF IT WERE SOME *expletive* AMAZINGLY SPECTACULAR THING THAT TOOK A *expletive* "GENIUS" TO PUT TOGETHER, GIVE ME A *expletive* BREAK OK!!!!!!
A. What a lame-ass. I see you have no social life. And even though you failed to ask a question, allow me to offer some advice in response to your eruption of nonsense:

1. Tone down your language, buttwipe.
2. Turn off your CapsLock. It makes you look stupid.
3. Don't say anything. That makes you look stupid too.
4. There, Their, They're. There's a difference. Look 'em up.
5. My genius and this site are mere coincidence. Anyone could have done it. Many have.
6. I don't brag about this site. I'm quite embarrassed by it, in fact. I don't spend near enough time on design and features. I'm way too busy IRL. I just made this handy links page for my own use in getting into Spades, and the whole thing just exploded from there.
7. Proper punctuation is important if you want anyone to take you seriously. In particular, never use double (much less, sextuple) exclamation marks. In fact, avoid exclamation marks altogether. They're really for exclamations like "Oh!", "Hey!" and "Dumbass!"
8. Questions should end in question marks, as in "Give me a break, ok?"

Q. Dood. Wha's yer e-male addres?
A. Well, I don't give this out to just anyone. But, since you're obviously very intelligent and won't ask braindead questions... take.this.job@shove-it.com